Give some Fs – Understanding and Neutralizing the Fight, Flight or Freeze Response (+Fawn)
I got 3 F words for you: fight/flight/freeze. FFF is humans’ self-protective mechanism to take on a tiger, run away from a threat, or play dead and hide from a predator. The FFF response once served an adaptive function of survival for our ancestors and kept us alive:
Today, this internal threat response system (activated by a part of our brain called the amygdala) can indeed keep us safe in times of danger, mobilizing our bodies and brains. The trouble is our amygdala struggles to distinguish between real/present danger . perceived threat or even memories of danger, resulting in false FFF activation. For example:
Someone cuts you off on the road. The CC calls you into his office. You have to give a brief and hate public speaking. You’re getting critical feedback you don’t agree with. You sense your partner is distancing or you experience social rejection. You’re being evaluated at a course and are experiencing performance anxiety. The team is debriefing the FMP and you’re in the hotseat. You’re late for a flight, or your kids are shrieking.
These situations may evoke accelerated HR, muscle tension, increased BP, knots in stomach, dry mouth, urge to empty bladder or bowels, fast and shallow breathing, tunnel vision, among other sensations, as well as excessive rumination, being on high alert, irritability, loss of appetite and sleep disturbance.
While certainly stressful, even psychologically threatening (a term we can parse another time), they are not necessarily life or death situations necessitating the FFF activation needed for primal survival. The above sensations do however serve a purpose. The heartbeat and breathing accelerate to pump blood more quickly to where it needs to go, but can evoke shallow breaths, lightheadedness, and chest pressure, which can be misconstrued as cardiac distress. Blood leaves our core organs, resulting in GI issues, and surges into arms and legs, readying us for punching or running, but can cause tingling and tension. Pupils dilate to focus on the threat but can induce tunnel vision. Sweat glands are activated to cool our bodies under stress but can make us look frazzled. This is the body essentially preparing for physical engagement, but when we are not fighting or fleeing or freezing an imminent threat, we are left wondering if we are having a heart attack or if our body is failing us. If we are freaked out by these sensations (understandably, if we are not familiar with the FFF response), signals are sent to our brain which only perpetuate the perception of threat, and make that alarm bell stronger.
Ergo, FFF keeps us safe and potentially alive. False FFF activation can impede our quality of life by inducing anxiety, panic attacks, hypervigilance, and a chronically activated threat response. It's important to recognize the signs of FFF activation, so that you can notice and label it, and avoid catastrophic interpretations which only fuel the FFF.
Fight: Aggression, anger, rage, defensiveness, bowing up, unable to hear others’ perspectives, self-preservation at all costs
Flight: Avoidance, urge to leave the scene, racing mind, fidgety, panicky
Freeze: Thinking and action shuts down, feeling numb/detached or numbing out with substances, out of body experience, low energy, feeling trapped/helpless
Ever wonder why saying “calm down” or “just don’t think about it and chill” aren’t particularly effective things to say to someone when they’re amped up? When FFF is activated, our ability to critically think, empathize, and reason is thwarted, because our survival mode is kicked into high gear. This is why therapists suggest a strategic pause before responding when emotionally or physiologically charged; the gains will be minimal in that elevated state and productive dialogue is much likelier when our nervous system is regulated.
Over time, chronic stress, depression, anxiety or trauma can reduce our brain’s ability to deactivate the FFF response, which is where some key interventions come in.
Deep diaphragmatic breathing, grounding exercises, meditation, bilateral eye movements, acknowledging the safety of your current environment, labeling your emotion and sensations, visualizing a calm, safe or even humorous scene, expressing gratitude are just some interventions you can employ to neutralize the FFF. Of course, regular exercise, adaptive thinking, self-care and diet are ongoing components of maintaining a healthy nervous system. There isn’t one universal magic cure, so expand your toolkit and find what works for you to downregulate.
1 More F
Fawn: This response may become activated in a relationship dynamic in which your fear of abandonment is activated, and you’re pleading, begging to placate and calm your partner. This can show up as people pleasing, conceding your view and even values to maintain the relationship, opting for compliance to avoid conflict and return to a feeling of safety. The fawn response can appear in dynamics with abusive and narcissistic partners. If you suspect physical, sexual or emotional abuse, contact 1800-799-SAFE.
How does your body respond to different types of stress?